Stupid Cupid
by bookworym
Summary: This should be taken as serious spoof. The idea was to write the sappiest fic possible, and I'm really hoping it succeeded. Summary: it's Christmas Eve, and the gundam boys have the mansion to themselves. Romance insues.


This was created out of sheer boredom on our parts, and an idea to see if we could make the most horrifically sappy clichéd thing EVER. As I said, we were VERY bored. This began as something we (Banana and Stabby) wrote during a regatta and then was finished during a camping trip (this is where I helped). My lovely and talented co workers on this story are hikage ikenie and Stabby. You should read their stories when you're done with this one. Anyway, on with the story.

It was nearly midnight on Christmas Eve and the five g boys were gathered around a roaring fire enjoying some hot chocolate (liberally laced with Kahlua liquor). They were warm, well fed, and happy after enjoying a Christmas dinner at Quatre's mansion. Everyone else had left for the night, and the boys had the whole mansion to themselves and the whole night to enjoy it. A large box of bonbons lay open within arms reach, while everyone happily stuffed their faces (i.e. Duo). Quatre and Trowa were cuddled under a fuzzy blanket on one couch and the other three were on another with comfortably flopped over more space than should be possible. This, of course, included one Heero Yuy. Wufei, whose personal space wasn't nearly as invaded (he had feet, not head, in vicinity), felt highly smug while watching the pair right next to him. He exchanged a knowing grin with Trowa and Quatre, who bounced it right back.

Heero looked happily at the soft chestnut head cuddled against him, and smiled slightly. This was also noted by the smug three pilots watching the two. Duo nuzzled against the warmth, and sighed slightly. If only this moment would last forever. Or, as hormones came into play, it couldget better. But, Duo knew it wasn't meant to be, for Heero would always be the Perfect Soldier. And oh, how perfect he is, snickered a little voice in his mind that Duo tried to suppress most of the time. Mmm, Heero smelled so nice, and felt so warm, and his hair felt so soft brushing against him- Stop that, it could never work. Why do you torture yourself like this, you're such a masochist! Duo turned his head into Heero's shoulder, and sighed softly, while surreptitiously cuddling closer. Heero noted the sigh that escaped Duo's lips. He wondered what could be bothering his koi- no, wait, not his koi. Duo could never be his koi. He knew this, and as much he wanted to reject it, his cold, analytical perfect soldier mind assessed the situation and noted that chances of success were only 15. It then went on to calculate the number of raindrops that fell in Guatemala- Omae o korosu, he thought to the little voice. But then, a new voice spoke up. This one whispered insidiously of how many other nights could be spent like this, if only he rejected the other 85. But no, it was too risky. At least at the moment, he still had Duo's friendship. Ah, said the little voice against, but would Duo be so very closer to you if he were only a friend? Heero blinked, and assessed his surroundings. Only then did he realize how literally closer indeed Duo had become. The other boy's head was nestled into the niche of his shoulder, and his eyes glowed with the reflection of the fire. Ah, those eyes. Oh, those eyes. One could get lost in the beautiful, bottomless amethyst pools… Heero shifted slightly, and Duo looked up at him, with a sweet smile on his face.

Wufei, who had been noting this exchange with interest, decided it was time to execute Plan 426. The other 425 plans weren't very successful. Really, the two pilots, so smear and sharp in other areas, could be remarkably dense to increasingly non-subtle hints. Wufei would have tried the classic bump- fall into- arms- of- other technique, but Gundam pilots had excellent coordination. It came with the job description. Stretching, he disentangled himself from Duo's feet and announced that he was going to retire. Pausing at the door of the room and wishing all a pleasant holiday, he gave a significant to Trowa and Quatre as he left who quickly followed suit. As Trowa and Quatre said their good nights, Heero noted that Duo didn't seem to have any intention of moving in the near future, and decided that he would stay as well. His motives were quite obvious, really. Duo roused himself from his warm cozy nest and noted with happy surprise that he was alone with Heero.

'Maybe,' He thought. 'Maybe this could be the chance I've been waiting for…'

At the same time, Heero noticed the situation as well. He decided to brave the 85 chance of failure and confess his feelings to the chestnut-haired beauty on the couch beside him. Duo looked up at Heero, and decided that this would require equal positioning (i.e. he sat up). He immediately missed Heero's warmth, while Heero looked puzzled at the sudden change. The look of puzzlement that was currently decorating his koi's face just made him look more with a lock of that wonderful soft chocolate hair falling into his bottomless sapphire eyes that seemed to look through you and into you… he screwed up his courage and cleared his throat.

"He-Heero," He began.

"What is it, Duo?" Heero said softly

Duo looked into the face that had haunted his waking and dreaming moments before he had even known its name, and felt his courage fail him.

"Don't you think we should be getting to bed soon?" He asked.

Heero blinked at him for a moment, and then assented. He rose, and offered to accompany Duo to his room courteously. Duo laughed uneasily, and said that since their rooms were right next to each other, they might as well. He also got up and stretched. Duo could have sworn that Heero flushed, but decided it must have been a trick of the firelight. He missed Heero's warmth already.

As Duo stretched, Heero tried to control his blush, but this was made difficult by the view presented to him. He couldn't seem to tear his eyes from the perfectly formed body before him. Heero caught a tantalizing glimpse of muscled abdomen between navy sweater and a pair of rather low riding dark jeans. For one frightening moment, it looked as though Duo had noticed, but he simply turned, braid swirling and went to the door.

"Shall we?" He remarked with an amused grin.

Heero felt his heart quicken as he walked forward to take the mockingly outstretched hand. He felt a slight shock when Duo's hand met his. His skin, although tough and calloused in places, was surprisingly soft, smooth, and supple. Duo smiled again and led him out into the darkened mansion.

As Duo led Heero out of the cozy room, Heero decided maybe he would get his chance after all. He cautiously began a conversation.

"Duo," He began. "Have you ever… been in love?"

Duo blushed charmingly and looked down. The carpet it seemed was very fascinating this year; all red and gold and…oriental.

"Why do you ask Heero?"

"Just curious."

Duo blushed even deeper.

"Well… yes."

Heero pushed onwards.

"With who?"

Yes, the carpet was very interesting.

"N-no one important…" Duo stammered.

Why was Heero asking this now? (le gasp) Could it be…? No, he was still the perfect soldier. Perfect soldiers do not have feelings…

"What does love feel like?"

Heero could not believe he'd asked that. From the expression on Duo's face, he didn't either. The violet-eyed boy blinked.

"Well…" He said hesitantly. "When you see them, all you can think about is them. You get a funny feeling in your stomach whenever they look at you, or smile, or laugh. All you want to do is make them happy, and you're willing to do anything to protect them. The room becomes brighter when the enter it, and your heart skips a beat when they touch you. When you're with them, everything seems right in the world."

He looked at the perfect soldier then, eyes shining with emotion.

"You want to kill whoever hurts them, and stay with them forever, and you never want anyone else to touch them. When you're around them, you feel stronger and weaker at the same time. You want to spend the rest of your life loving them with all your heart and soul."

Heero stared at Duo for a moment.

"You must really have loved this person a lot."

Duo smiled dreamily and sighed.

"Yeah, yeah I do." He said quietly.

"You still love them?"

"I've loved them since the day I met them."

Now Heero was very anxious to finds out who this person was. Duo obviously cared about this person very much. Who had captured his koi's heart? Heero felt his courage going out an imaginary window. What would he do now? Duo was in love with someone else! He decided to press forward anyway. Even if Duo didn't love him, at least he would be getting his feelings off his chest. A soldier never shirks his duties, personal or military. He looked over at Duo, who was looking at him, curiosity shining in his amethyst eyes.

"Why do you ask, Heero?" He enquired, head cocked to one side.

Heero felt his heart beat faster at hearing his name uttered in that lilting voice. The perfect soldier's heart began to melt under the effect of those beautiful eyes, the slightly parted mouth that he suddenly wanted to touch more than anything in the world. He stopped walking, and so did Duo, chestnut eyebrows furrowing in puzzlement.

Duo's heart skipped a beat when the chocolate haired boy stepped closer to him, face looking a tiny bit indecisive, bottomless sapphire eyes troubled. Duo wanted to take the Wing Zero pilot's mouth (which was currently biting its bottom lip slightly) and kiss it until the perfect soldier's face broke into a smile as rare and dazzling as a blue diamond. Blue diamonds, sparkling deep pools of pure azure, just like his eyes…

"Because… because I think I'm in love."

Heero had to bite back a laugh at the shocked expression on Duo's face (i.e. jaw drop) Suddenly, Duo perked up and said

"Oooooh, who is it?"

Then he stared at Heero with rapt attention. Heero blushed and said

"You, um, you have to guess who it is."

"Okay, but you have to describe them."

"Well, he's tall, with dark expressive purple eyes. He's handsome and strong. He-"

Duo held up a hand to stop Heero.

"Wait, he?"

"Yes, he."

"Okay, just making sure. Continue." Duo said, waving a hand at Heero.

Heero raised an eyebrow and said

"His laugh makes music sound like nails on a chalkboard. He has an incredible body."

"Okay, I think I know who it is."

"Really?"

"Yes, it's Wufei."

"Umm, no."

"Trowa?"

"Nope."

"Quatre?"

"Nuh uh."

"Relena?"

"Ew, hell no. She's a girl, and I said 'he', remember?"

"Right. Okay, is it Sally?"

"Grrrrr."

"Is it-"

"How about if I give you some more clues?"

"Okay."

"He's smart, generous, sweet, kind, honorable, clean, thrifty, warm, and reverent He's intensely loyal and would do anything for his friends."

"Alrighty, are you sure it's not Wufei?"

"Yes, I am quite sure Duo, believe me."

As Heero said this, Duo noticed such an intense expression on Heero's face that his eyes darkened until they were almost black.

"Okay, well then, that leaves just one person." Duo said..

Heero looked deep into Duo's eyes and saw there something that looked like hope. He took a step closer to Duo.

"Who?"

He took another step forward and backed Duo against the wall. Duo looked up and said,

" We- well, it would leave-" Heero leaned in close to Duo so that their noses touched.

" Who?" he whispered. Duo gazed into Heero's eyes and whispered,

"Me." His breath caught in his throat as Heero nodded, his eyes burning into him. As Duo looked at him, Heero was slowly moving closer and closer. Duo could feel his breath upon his lips as Heero asked him, his voice barely a whisper,

" And you?" Duo answered by leaning forward to take Heero's lips with his own. As they touched, Duo could feel Heero melting against him, and pulled his body into closer contact with his own. Their kiss became more intense, and Duo decided to again take the initiative. He ran his tongue along the bottom of Heero's lip, demanding more intimacy to be granted. Heero complied eagerly, taking Duo into his mouth. As their tongues tangled, hands began to roam, from Duo's firm, toned abs to Heero's muscular hips. As intense as it was, Duo broke away from Heero, and leaned his head against his shoulder. He breathed into his ear,

" Heero…"

" Hmmm?" Heero mumbled contentedly as he wrapped his arms around Duo and laid his cheek on Duo's head.

" What does this mean for us?" Heero lifted head and gazed into his koi's eyes.

" What do you mean?"

" Well, where do we go from here? I mean, what happens next?" Heero smiled.

" How about more of the same?" Duo eagerly complied, kissing the sweet smile right off his love's face while wrapping his arms around Heero's neck, running his fingers through the soft chocolate hair. As they broke apart again, Duo smiled at Heero.

" You know what?" he said.

" What?" Heero replied.

" It was you I was talking about, earlier. That's how much I feel for you. I love you." There was a flush on Duo's face as Heero pulled it up towards him.

" And you know I love you." A brilliant smile lit up Duo's face, and stayed as Heero took Duo's hand and led him gently back through the house to the couch where all of this had started. They fell asleep there, holding each other in the flickering embers of the fire.

The next morning, when the other Gundam boys came downstairs, they discovered Heero and Duo asleep on the same couch that they had left them on the night before. Duo was still using Heero's shoulder as a pillow, but if it was possibly, he was closer to Heero than he was before. Heero had his arms around Duo's waist, and Duo was slightly on top of Heero. The fuzzy blanket that Trowa and Quatre had been using the night before was thrown on top of both of them. As they exited the way they had come in, Wufei said,

" Took them long enough." As the door swung shut, he heard two sleepy voices say,

" I heard that."

The END!


End file.
